


objects in mirror

by pyrophane



Category: THE9 (Band), 青春有你2, 青春有你2 | Youth With You 2 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Ambiguous Relationships, Canon Compliant, Curses, F/F, Kissing, Possibly Futile Attempts to Break Curses via Mouth-to-Mouth Techniques, Psychic Vampirism, Superpowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23927077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrophane/pseuds/pyrophane
Summary: “True love’s kiss, of course!” Shuxin declares. “That’s how curses break in every story ever, hello? Have you ever seen a movie in your life?”
Relationships: An Qi/Kong Xue'er, Jin Zihan/Kong Xue'er, Kong Xue'er/Liu Yuxin, Kong Xue'er/Xu Jiaqi, Kong Xue'er/Yu Shuxin, Kong Xue'er/Yu Yan, Kong Xue'er/Zhao Xiaotang
Comments: 11
Kudos: 112





	objects in mirror

**Author's Note:**

> still in time for kxe day!! hbd to my best girl <3
> 
> i decided to put every single one of my kxe agendas into this fic. why? because. full disclosure though, for a fic ostensibly about kissing there is actually not a lot of kissing in this, and yet somehow this still managed to be 3k longer than it was supposed to be. other untagged ships include: ysx/zxt, kxe/lxz, kxe/xky, (unrequited) yy/zzq
> 
> ty to qcyn2 tl for cheering me through the frenzied writing process & especially to cindi for being a tireless fount of c-ent wisdom!!

“Well, that would be because you’re cursed,” Shuxin says.

Out of all the potential responses to Xueer’s half-rhetorical _why am I so unlucky?_ sighed to the rhythm of her line in Why Am I So Pretty, this is certainly not one she had anticipated. Is Shuxin joking? She doesn’t look like she’s joking. Xueer pushes herself up off the floor. “I’m what,” she says flatly.

“You’re cursed,” Shuxin repeats, from where she’s lounging against Jiya’s vacated bottom bunk. She tips her head to the side, then puts a hand to her mouth, eyes wide. “You didn’t know? I thought you _must_ have known, or I would have told you earlier! Your aura is, like, all dark and smoggy, it’s actually _so_ gross.”

“I,” Xueer starts, and has no idea how to continue the sentence. She casts around wildly and settles on a desultory, “I did not know that.” 

“Really? Oh, well I thought you had it under control, but clearly not… aren’t you lucky you have me to sort you out!” Shuxin claps her hands together. “At least the cure’s obvious.”

Xueer slides a desperate sideways glance to Xiaotang, who, helpful as ever, shrugs and stares blankly back at her. “... What’s obvious?”

“True love’s kiss, of course!” Shuxin declares. “That’s how curses break in every story ever, hello? Have you ever seen a movie in your life?”

The cheerless hum of the air conditioner greets Shuxin’s words. Xueer is half-convinced they’re filming an episode of Who’s The Drama Queen and everyone simply forgot to inform her. Again, she looks at Xiaotang, then at Shuxin’s guileless face. “Just because it works in stories doesn’t mean it’ll work in real life,” she says.

This is dismissed with the flick of a wrist. “Nonsense,” Shuxin says. “What do you have to lose, anyway? Besides, you need to feed. Two birds, one stone.”

“I get plenty of energy from normal food, I don’t _need_ to feed,” Xueer says.

Shuxin clicks her tongue. "Well, that just won’t do! It can’t be healthy for you to repress your powers like that.”

In despair, Xueer does another perfunctory scan of the room for any cameras she might have missed the first few times. If she thought Shuxin capable of it she’d suspect some kind of ulterior motive at play. But malice is completely foreign to Shuxin. She can be thoughtless, self-absorbed, petty, extravagant—just never unkind. Often Xueer finds herself envying that transparency. Shuxin only needs to glance at a person to read the entirety of their lives. Nothing has ever been hidden from Shuxin; why would she think to hide anything of her own self? 

“Okay,” Xueer says slowly. “Okay, I believe you. So… your idea for this… how exactly am I supposed to find my… the cure.”

“Oh, that’s where Xiaotang comes in."

"Wait," Xiaotang says, "I didn't agree to this."

Shuxin barrels on. "Obviously if your true love is on this show—”

Xueer: “I think we’re somewhat underestimating the size of that _if_ —”

“—then their fate should be very much tangled up in yours. Plus all of your friends and coworkers and enemies and so on, but it’s a start. Now, Xiaotang, tell us who’s in Xueer’s future.”

“Ugh,” Xiaotang grumbles. “Must I?”

Despite the protest, a translucent film like a snake’s eyelid is already flickering over her eyes, though her voice remains, unsettlingly, unchanged. Shuxin cheers and leans in, always fascinated by the process; she says it’s rare for abilities to manifest so directly in physical appearance.

“Okay, so, Shuxin, obviously,” Xiaotang says. “And I guess me too, and Xiaozhai… An Qi, Jin Zihan… Liu Yuxin,” here Xueer bites back a grimace, “Yu Yan, Xie Keyin…” She trails off thoughtfully, then adds, “And Xu Jiaqi.” The milkiness recedes from her eyes and she flops backwards onto the carpet. “God, that was exhausting. I hate reading the fucking… threads of fate or whatever, you owe me big time.”

Xueer snatches a nougat square out of the poorly-concealed packet in Shuxin’s bag, peels open the wrapper and pops the candy directly into Xiaotang’s mouth. “Oh, what’s a favour between friends,” Xueer says.

“I’m keeping track of your tab, Miss Kong,” Xiaotang says, between chews. _Eww,_ opines Shuxin. Xiaotang swallows before continuing. “When it’s time for me to collect… you better watch yourself.”

Shuxin scoots closer and takes Xueer’s hands, lacing their fingers together. Instantly Xueer’s palms break out in clammy sweat. “Naturally I’ll go first,” Shuxin says. “Now, I know this might be an overwhelming experience, but do try to keep yourself together.” 

“Oh my god,” Xueer says. “You’re serious about this.” 

“You could sound a little more enthusiastic,” Shuxin says. “This is a huge honour I’m bestowing upon you, you realise. Not everyone gets to kiss Yu Shuxin’s perfect lips!”

Batting her lashes ostentatiously, Shuxin puckers up, and Xiaotang groans and makes a show of burying her head under a pillow. 

Shuxin shrieks, “Zhao Xiaotang you could at least have the decency to watch!” 

“I don’t want to watch you two touching mouths,” Xiaotang complains.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Shuxin turns back to Xueer, gazing with unnerving directness into her eyes. “You can feed from me too. But only a little bit! Not too much.” 

Despite the unpleasant dampness of Xueer’s palms, Shuxin doesn’t let go of her hands, keeps her anchored in place. The coquettishness falls away from her as she leans forward, leaving only an earnest shine, a determination to help. Shuxin is a person who deals in potentials. She sees right through Xueer, sees the shape of the person she could be. Does everything she can to push and pinch and knead her into that outline, a peculiar sort of kindness. Xueer is surrounded by people with their eyes fixed on the future. It's difficult to keep up, sometimes.

Shuxin kisses sweetly, like a girl experiencing her first love. All of her soft and yielding. Carefully, Xueer extends the nebulous sixth sense she keeps locked tight at the back of her head towards Shuxin and Shuxin’s energy rushes readily into her mouth, such a heady shock of sensation Xueer’s vision starbursts into white. She gasps into Shuxin’s mouth, and Shuxin squeezes her hands, hard, enough to bring her crashing back down into her body. 

With some effort Xueer manages to slam the connection shut. Shuxin’s lips taste like watermelon, which also happens to be the flavour of Xueer’s favourite lip product. Xueer swipes her tongue along Shuxin's bottom lip again, just to check, and then she pulls back. “Are you using my lip gloss?”

“It looks really good on me,” Shuxin says. “Anyway, I give you a seven out of ten. Room for improvement, you know. So what do I taste like? I know I must be delicious.”

Shuxin’s energy effervesces through her, warmth all the way to the tips of her fingers. Xueer hadn’t realised how much she missed using her ability. “Fizzy,” Xueer says. “It’s nice.”

“See? The junk in your aura’s already gotten better, too. All thanks to my cleansing presence.” Shuxin squeezes Xueer's hands again, more gently, and lets go. “You’ll get better at that. You just have to practise.”

“You guys done yet?” comes Xiaotang’s muffled voice from underneath the pillow.

“Yes, and now it’s your turn,” Shuxin says. 

Xiaotang peels the pillow off her face to turn a baleful eye on Xueer. “I don’t like this any more than you do,” Xueer tells her.

“What’s so bad about kissing me, huh?” 

“What’s so bad about kissing _me_?” Xueer fires back.

Xiaotang scowls and gestures for Xueer to move closer. Xueer shakes her head and gestures for Xiaotang to move instead. They engage in a stare-off for a few moments. Then Xiaotang throws her hands up and stomps over to hover menacingly in front of Xueer. 

“Sit down, you can’t kiss her like that,” Shuxin scolds. “Put your hands on her waist, go on, lean forward, surely you’ve kissed people before.”

Xiaotang complies, because she is obsessed with Shuxin even though Xueer is the one who has put in the time as her labelmate. Her hands settle on Xueer’s waist with uncommon hesitance. She’s done her brows in red today, Xueer notes, trying her best to stop her eyes from darting wildly to the side. It's already taking a monumental effort not to burst into awkward laughter. Right before they make contact, Xiaotang turns her head to the side. “Do you have to watch?” she lobs in Shuxin’s direction.

“I can close my eyes if you insist,” Shuxin says, affecting a put-upon sigh. She grabs her eyemask off her pillow and tugs it over her head. “Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” Xiaotang says. 

“You’re making this so weird,” Shuxin says disapprovingly.

“Says the weirdo voyeur,” Xiaotang retorts, but she sounds totally delighted about it, so really she’s part of the problem.

“I think you’re both weird,” Xueer says. “Can we get back on track?”

“If _you_ insist,” Xiaotang says. Stiffly, she bends towards Xueer and their faces meet in what Xueer is frankly embarrassed to label a kiss. This charade persists for a few agonising moments further before Xueer, unable to take it any longer, pushes Xiaotang's face away.

"Can you relax," Xiaotang hisses. The rest of her face has gone as red as her brows. "It's like kissing a cardboard cutout and not even a sexy one."

"Maybe if you weren't about as responsive as a dead fish!" Xueer flares. "I'm not that awful to kiss!"

"Whatever you two are saying, it doesn't sound very romantic," Shuxin calls.

"Heaven help us if we're really supposed to be true loves," Xiaotang mumbles. An exhale. "Close your eyes," she says. "Trust me."

When it comes down to it, Xueer does trust Xiaotang. She's earned it. All those hours sweating it out in the company's dance studio together, Xiaotang's fingers around her wrist hauling her off the floor. So Xueer allows her eyes to slip shut, and this time when Xiaotang's lips touch hers it's without harshness.

It turns out Xiaotang is actually a decent kisser. Her energy sears Xueer's mouth too cold to tell for sure, though. When the kiss breaks Xiaotang regards her intently, none of the usual thorniness to her gaze. “Enough?” she asks.

Xueer nods, and Xiaotang shifts away. Years without feeding and now she's dizzy with fullness, her vision shimmering and chiming as her body adjusts to the excess energy. She blinks away filigrees of light. All of her feels weightless.

“I’m starting to think this is part of an elaborate murder plot,” Xueer says. “You’re counting on me dying from the sheer embarrassment of having to explain any of this to anyone else.”

“A mean heart will always malign a generous one,” Shuxin sniffs, pulling the eyemask off again.

“Besides, haven’t we forgotten something important?”

“Who the fuck is _we_?” mutters Xiaotang.

Xueer ignores her. “How am I supposed to know if it’s worked? Will it show up in my aura?”

“Well, the smoke doesn't disappear just because you put the fire out. But don't worry, that part’s easy.” Shuxin grins, perfect flash of pearly teeth. “When you debut! That’s when you’ll know.”

If Xueer is going to go along with Shuxin’s deranged plan, she’s doing it strategically. This is in no way to be confused with trying to stave off a few of the entries on Xiaotang’s list for as long as possible. It only makes sense to order them from easiest to hardest. Equipped with this justification, she starts her operation. 

First: Xiaozhai agrees with the same patient equanimity that draws the other trainees to her as surely as her endless supply of black-market instant noodles. She’s so unruffled by Xueer’s request it’s as if she’s asked on a regular basis to assist with mouth-to-mouth cursebreaking techniques; the lifestyle of a Taobao model is truly inscrutable. Xueer can’t bring herself to make the follow-up request to feed from her on account of how Xiaozhai basically looks like a misplaced sneeze would knock her over. Afterwards, she pats Xueer on the elbow and pushes a couple of spice sachets into her hands and floats off down the hallway. 

Second: Keyin obliges enthusiastically and kisses the living daylights out of Xueer. She also allows Xueer to feed from her, enduring the absorption process with a wide-eyed curiosity. Keyin’s energy fizzes in Xueer’s belly like sparkling water, bright and clean and zesty. She says, “I really, really doubt I’m your true love, but it’s cool that you asked me!” Xueer has the distinct feeling Keyin then went back to her room and crossed _get fed on by a psychic vampire and/or equivalent_ off her bucket list, which is no doubt filled with things like _climb an active volcano_ and _go skydiving without a parachute._

Third: she catches Zihan during her daily sunrise ritual. Through the window of her dorm room she can see Zihan stretching by the main fountain in the grey dawn, an even more languid quality to her movements than usual, to an ever-growing audience of birds nestled within overhead branches, perched on the stone, flitting across the pavement. The frigid morning air bites at Xueer’s exposed skin as she walks outside, shoving her hands into the pockets of the coat she’d grabbed off the rack—she thinks this one is Xiaotang’s. It takes Xueer a while to catch Zihan’s attention, and longer to explain her predicament. But Zihan nods and says _Okay_ and lets Xueer slide a hand into her hair and bring their mouths together.

Zihan kisses uncertainly, the pressure of her mouth uneven. Her energy seeping into Xueer slow and sweet as honey. Xueer breaks the kiss and blinks, a dreamlike watercolour cast settling over her vision. 

And all at once the birds take off, wild flurry of whirlwind upwards motion. Zihan’s hair flares out in the sudden buffet of air and Xueer laughs, startled into sound. A smile crawls onto Zihan’s face in response. How comfortable she looks, here, in her element. How lovely. All around their heads the flutter of wings. 

“Wait, wait, let me get this straight,” An Qi says, voice so weighed down with incredulity it’s a wonder it’s got enough velocity to make it out of her mouth at all. “So you think you’re cursed, and that you can break your curse with,” and amazingly, she manages to slather on yet another layer of thick incredulity, “‘true love’s kiss’... and then you came to _me_?”

Xueer flushes and pretends to busy herself with widening the stretch of her legs. Addressing her knee, she says, “Don’t look at me like that, this whole thing is Shuxin’s idea.”

“Shuxin is crazy.”

“Tell me about it,” Xueer groans.

“But she’s right. It's worth a shot.” An Qi nods twice, then purses her lips. “All right, I just ate, so I can probably spare the energy. I guess it isn’t so different from what I do anyway.”

Their abilities are close to inverse: where Xueer takes, An Qi gives, her powers allowing her to impart physical sensations to others. It’s part of what makes her such a startlingly effective teacher—she transmits the way the correct movements are supposed to feel, the precise slant of a limb, which muscles should be tensed, and drills the other person until everything falls into place on its own. 

An Qi rolls her shoulders and stretches her arms over her head, then hoists herself onto her feet. She extends a hand to help Xueer up. Her stance more like a wrestler’s than someone preparing to be kissed, which doesn’t exactly instil Xueer with a great deal of confidence. “Let’s do this.” She looks expectantly at Xueer.

Unfortunately, Xueer doesn’t have much experience with kissing shorter people. She closes the distance, rests her hands on An Qi’s waist, then shifts them up to her shoulderblades, then to the tops of her arms. An Qi makes an impatient noise against her mouth. A flash of sense memory: press of a hand over the back of her neck.

Xueer cannot believe An Qi is trying to make this an educational experience. “An Qi, are you seriously—”

"If I’m going to do anything I’m going to do it right," An Qi says briskly. “I’m making it nicer for both of us. Now focus.”

An Qi conducts her with bursts of sensation. Head tilted down, lips parted further, arms higher, showing her exactly how she wants to be kissed. Xueer moves as directed. Her hands slide into An Qi’s hair; An Qi nips at her bottom lip, bossy. Everything precisely on An Qi’s terms. She can afford that overwhelming confidence because she has the capability to back it up. What wouldn’t Xueer give to inhabit that space. As if in response, An Qi’s energy fills Xueer’s mouth with the vibrant taste of ginger and lemongrass.

When the kiss breaks, An Qi takes one look at her and bursts into giggles.

“What?” Xueer demands. The spice of An Qi’s energy lingers on her tongue.

“My lipstick’s all over your mouth,” An Qi says. “I’ll get that for you.”

Miraculously, An Qi’s cherry red lipstick has barely smudged at all on her own mouth. She rubs at the corners of Xueer’s lips with the pad of a thumb, exactingly meticulous even in something as insignificant as this, and Xueer catches her breath as An Qi’s thumb swipes over her tender lower lip. 

An Qi steps back. Surveys her work and finds it well done. Thus satisfied, she says, “You know, you really could work on your technique.”

“I’m a good kisser!” Xueer protests. “Your height just threw me off! I don’t usually kiss people shorter than me… plus you looked like you were squaring up to punch me.”

“Only with my mouth,” An Qi crows. “So who are you going to seduce next?”

“I wish you wouldn’t say it like that,” Xueer says. “But… Yu Yan, I guess.” 

“Wow,” An Qi says, drawing out the syllable. “Good luck with that one.” She gives Xueer a bolstering slap on the back and Xueer automatically straightens up.

An Qi’s energy fireworks inside her, relentless as its source. Carrying An Qi’s instruction, aligning her body into more perfect form. What a secret relief in giving herself over to someone who knows better, who can tell her with certainty what to do next. An Qi’s steel in Xueer’s spine. Stand tall, it tells her. Now focus.

Considering that they technically share a best friend, Xueer’s interactions with Yu Yan are interestingly low in quantity, which is to say that Xueer can probably count the number of words they’ve exchanged on a single hand. This is due to an unspoken mutual agreement to avoid one another as much as possible. Yu Yan apparently has the magical equivalent of a nuclear bomb ticking under her skin, so Xueer feels justified in experiencing a healthy level of caution. She isn’t actually sure what precisely it is that Yu Yan can do, but the first time Shuxin saw her she fainted on the spot, which is pretty much all Xueer needs to know.

“I can’t ask Yu Yan,” Xueer whines, at breakfast, dropping her face towards her hands, then thinking better of it and lifting her head up again; the constant all-nighters are wreaking enough havoc on her skin. “Yu Yan hates me.”

“She does not,” Shuxin says soothingly. 

“I’d believe you if you managed to look at her for longer than three seconds without passing out,” Xueer sniffs.

Xiaotang noisily slurps down the last of her egg drop soup. “Thought Liu Yuxin was the one you were freaking out about, not Yu Yan.”

“Well, I can’t ask Yuxin either, but she _doesn’t_ hate me, which is actually just as much of a problem.”

“Your ability to invent problems out of thin air never ceases to amaze,” Xiaotang says. “Yu Yan's gonna be in the smaller change room. You’ll see her after morning practice.”

“I could just _not_ go and then you wouldn’t be much of a psychic, would you,” Xueer mutters. 

Xiaotang rolls her eyes. “It’s your curse, not mine,” she says.

Tragically, Xiaotang is right, so Xueer goes. Yu Yan is indeed in the smaller change room after the first practice session ends, legs stretched out on the bench next to Keni as they speak in low tones.

“Hey,” Xueer says, stepping through the doorway. The conversation extinguishes itself immediately. “Can I borrow Yu Yan for a moment?” 

Yu Yan’s eyes seem to narrow, just a fraction. Keni raises a perfectly arched eyebrow but stands up and slinks past Xueer. The door shuts behind her with a click.

Xueer chokes down her pride. “I have a favour to ask,” she says.

Yu Yan listens. Her face remains impassive as Xueer explains her request, carved from stone. _Still as the mountain,_ isn’t that how the saying goes? There’s always been a timeless quality about her, a furnace of power rooted so deeply it transcends her. She wouldn't be out of place leading some ancient army into battle.

She’s a formidable adversary in any arena, but the one thing Xueer has over her is the very thing that both links and separates them: Zhou Ziqian. _You know Yu Yan came all the way here from Beijing just because I said I was feeling sad,_ Ziqian said once, her voice staticky over the unstable WeChat call connection. _And she even brought me milk tea._

 _I'm feeling a little threatened_ , Xueer said, laughing. _I’ll buy you milk tea next time we meet, how’s that?_

But five-hour train rides and expensive milk tea gifts aside, Ziqian’s made the choice to come down on Xueer’s side. And now Xueer’s here, and Ziqian isn’t, and these two facts are not unrelated. What Xueer is counting on is Yu Yan’s heart, loyal as iron. Ziqian saw something in me worth defending, shouldn’t you too? 

“Alright,” Yu Yan says, at last. She swings her legs off the bench and stands. Only a few centimetres’ difference in their heights, but Yu Yan’s presence looms so large she seems barely containable by the room. “I’ll help you.”

Xueer, never able to resist pressing the upper hand, says, “You can imagine I’m her, if you like. I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“Shut up.” Yu Yan’s voice cracks out like a whip. “Don’t talk about things you know nothing about.”

Her hands tangle into Xueer’s hair, tipping her head back. Her mouth scorches. Teeth unrelenting. Instinctively Xueer tries to pull away from the heat, but the vicious energy pouring into her mouth electrifies her into place, the sheer scale of that white-hot deluge. Inside Yu Yan is a seemingly bottomless well of energy, some kind of self-sustaining reactor; Xueer could drain her for days and Yu Yan would still have more.

Yu Yan’s fingers slip down, brush against her neck like the burn of a curling iron and Xueer flinches from the contact. Heat waterfalls down her spine with the crackling smell of ozone. Ziqian might have forgiven her, but it’s clear Yu Yan has taken it upon herself to hold a grudge on Ziqian’s behalf. Briefly Xueer wishes she were here with Keni instead, who would probably not try to melt her skin off, and as soon as the thought materialises Yu Yan steps back and wipes her mouth off with the back of her hand.

Xueer touches her buzzing lips and a jolt of static electricity leaps to her fingers. Yu Yan’s energy spits and hisses and sparks all the way down, leaves a metallic taste coating the back of her throat. Blood in the water. Her resentment roils inside Xueer like a separate entity; she’s swallowed a hurricane. The words bite their way up, unstoppable: “Ziqian wouldn’t have done it for you,” Xueer says acidly. “She picked me. She’ll never feel like that about you.”

The air goes still and dense like the premonition of a lightning storm. Yu Yan’s hair shifts and spreads out behind her shoulders, bristling at the tips. But even now her expression remains dispassionate, unblinking. The line of her mouth taut as wire.

As though she too knows the truth: Xueer isn’t sure if her friendship with Ziqian will survive this. Yu Yan may yet take her place. Certainly things won’t be the way they’d been before all of this began; there’s a distance now, an absence of warmth, Ziqian’s tremulous smile and averted eyes when Xueer went to her dorm the night she had to leave. Forgiveness doesn’t mean it never happened. Xueer’s sorry for it, but not sorry enough to lose sight of why she came here. 

“What Ziqian did for you was very kind,” Yu Yan says flatly. “Make sure you deserve it.”

Later at night emerging from the shower, Xueer catches a glimpse of something reddish at the side of her neck. She frowns and moves closer to the mirror, shifting the wet coil of her hair aside and twisting her head for a better look. There, just beneath her ear, where Yu Yan's fingers had touched her bare skin, the faint mark of a fractal burn.

“You look so surprised,” Yuxin says.

“I thought you’d say no!”

The corner of Yuxin’s mouth quirks up. “No,” she says. “You were hoping for it.”

It’s a shame An Qi’s bullheaded confidence has already run out. “Fine, you got me,” Xueer admits. “I just don’t—you’d do this for me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Yuxin says, as though it really could be that easy. 

She’d understand if Yuxin hated her. At this point she’d honestly welcome it; at least she knows what to do in the face of hatred. But the blade of Yuxin’s kindness, sharp enough to cut, doesn’t waver, not once. Every time she speaks to Yuxin she feels its cold, tender weight at her throat.

“Then… I’ll be in your debt,” Xueer says.

“Now that doesn’t sound like you,” Yuxin says mildly. “The Xueer I know treats it as a given that other people will take care of her.”

Xueer places her hands on her hips. Faces Yuxin head-on. “Well, you’d be surprised,” she says. “Yu Shuxin has me on the path to becoming a brand new person. I hardly recognise myself.”

At this, Yuxin cracks a smile, a proper one. She opens her mouth, probably to say something horribly diplomatic like _I’m glad you have people you still feel like you can count on_ , and Xueer is in no mood to hear it, so she jumps in first.

“Anyway, we don’t have to talk about it. We can just…” she takes a breath, “get this done, and then everything can go back to how it was before.”

“Sure,” Yuxin says, and this annoys Xueer so much she marches over to Yuxin by the mirror, grabs her shoulders, and smashes their mouths together.

Immediately, Yuxin shifts to better accommodate Xueer’s weight, adjusting the angle of the kiss into something less harsh, lips soft against Xueer’s. Her hand comes up to curve around the nape of Xueer’s neck, warm and firm. Even in this Yuxin knows Xueer too well, doesn’t need Shuxin’s second sight to slice right through her. It’s always been like this. Yuxin has no magical potential to speak of and yet everything seems to come to her so effortlessly. Xueer spent almost half her life remaking herself, searching for the best face she could put forward. And still, always the weight of Yuxin’s disappointment, her total clarity of sight piercing through every self Xueer has tried to construct: you can do better than this. You can be better than this.

Xueer breaks first, turning her head away. A knotted tangle of nets in her chest. These are old resentments. Every time she tries to find a gap in Yuxin’s armour to dig her fingers into— _don’t you think you’re so pathetic because—_ she knows she reveals a little too much of her own vulnerable hand, and Yuxin knows it too. Then, as if it couldn’t get any worse, she inexplicably finds herself bursting into tears.

Yuxin's eyes go round with alarm. "God, I'm not that bad at kissing, am I?" Yuxin starts dabbing at Xueer's eyes, so conscientiously careful not to dislodge the glitter underneath it brings a fresh wave of heat to her eyes.

“No, fuck you, you know you’re fine, it's just—” Furious at herself, Xueer pulls away from Yuxin's gentle, unbearable touch. “It’s been a while, okay? You always—”

A matter of timeline: years ago Yuxin used to sling her arm around Xueer’s shoulder whenever they sat by each other, the gesture repeated so often it became thoughtless. Fast forward to the here and now, when she cried so hard in the middle of practice she had to hide her face from the camera, swells of terror and humiliation crashing down around her ears, and Yuxin crouched down at her elbow and calmly talked her through the tears and didn’t touch her at all.

“Kiss me again,” she orders.

Yuxin cups Xueer’s face in her hands and kisses her again. This time Xueer allows her power free rein, Yuxin’s energy flooding into her mouth, the rush of ice cold water. She drinks and drinks and Yuxin lets her take as much as she wants, fingers steady against Xueer’s jaw. 

Finally she wrenches herself away. Her blood hums with stolen vitality. Even as she wrestles that silvery inflow of energy under control, the familiarity of it settles her, as though her body recognises it. A sort of certainty of self, an ability to stand alone. The growing quiet of a dark, still pool within her. Xueer takes hold of that borrowed centre of gravity and breathes. 

“If this doesn’t work,” she whispers. She can’t look at Yuxin, not now. “Do you—do you still think I can win.” 

A considering silence. Then Yuxin touches the back of her hand. Contact, fleeting, so light Xueer wonders if she’d imagined it. She lifts her head, meets Yuxin’s gaze. Serious, clear, kind. Coring through her like a scythe.

Yuxin says, “Why do you always think you need me to tell you?”

She sees Jiaqi the moment she nudges open the glass door leading to the indoor pool. Submerged neck-deep in the centre of the pool, the tips of Jiaqi’s hair brushing the water’s surface. In the low, wavering light, her eyes glow sulfurous green like a cat’s. 

“Hi,” Jiaqi calls. “Midnight swim?”

Xueer drops her towel by the edge of the pool. She hadn’t planned to approach Jiaqi so soon, but now that the opportunity’s fallen into her hands she’d be a fool not to take it. “Xiaotang’s hogging all the hot water,” she says. “I thought I might try another way to relax.”

Jiaqi is in a yellow one-piece, just visible under the bright blue water. Xueer had not been prepared for the existence of an onsite pool and she’d had to borrow a set from Shuxin, who’d apparently packed for every possible eventuality. 

“You can turn on the lights if you want,” Jiaqi says. “I can see in the dark, so I try to save on electricity—I mean, it’s just a habit, I know we aren’t paying for anything here.” 

“It’s okay, I’m good,” Xueer says. She bends down and dips her fingers in the water. The smell of chlorine stings the back of her throat.

“Yu Yan told me you asked her to kiss you,” Jiaqi says conversationally.

Xueer’s head snaps up. “You talk to Yu Yan?”

“Of course I do,” Jiaqi says. “She helps me cut my hair. There’s really nothing she can’t do.” She sounds a little wistful.

“She’s a powerhouse,” Xueer agrees, since it’s true. “Did she tell you…”

Jiaqi’s head bobs, and Xueer exhales in relief; at least she won’t have to put herself through the explanation process again. “So who else do you have left?” Jiaqi asks.

“No one,” Xueer says. “You’re the last.”

“Ahh, so you went to everyone else before me,” Jiaqi says. “I’m not sure if I should be hurt!”

Xueer is reasonably certain this is a friendly joke and smiles stiffly. “You seemed busy.”

Jiaqi sighs and shakes her head. “All that talk about fish and oceans and whatnot… I guess it’s true what they say.”

“What, like, _plenty of fish in the ocean_?”

“But only one fish in this one,” Jiaqi says solemnly, gesturing to the water around her. Torch-eyed. There are fish like that in the deep, luring prey towards them with bright lights; Xueer’s seen them in documentaries, luminous bait extended before sharp teeth.

Xueer takes the invitation. She slips into the pool, flinches at the cold. Shivering, she wades towards Jiaqi until it’s too deep to keep walking along the floor, and then she starts treading water.

“Go on, then,” Jiaqi says, when Xueer reaches her. “Ask me.”

Xueer splutters. “But you already know why I’m here! It’s so _embarrassing_ to keep saying…”

“No, I want the full experience. Ask me.”

“Xu Jiaqi,” Xueer says, now grateful for the total absence of heat from her body rendering her unable to flush bright red. “Will you help me break this curse?”

Jiaqi’s face splits into a smile. “Of course I’ll help you,” she says. “Do you know, I did my trainee introduction video as Tuxedo Mask! Saving beautiful maidens is my calling.”

“I remember Sailor Moon was the one who did most of the saving,” Xueer says dryly.

Jiaqi huffs. “Really, do you want my help or not!”

“Of course, of course, I’m very grateful,” Xueer says, lifting her hands in a peace offering.

“Hmph.” Jiaqi leans backwards until she’s floating, starfished on top of the water. “Hey, if you kiss someone long enough, do you think you could kill them?”

“That’s… really not something I want to think about when I’m about to kiss you,” Xueer says.

She’s never tried to go that far but if she touched someone long enough she might absorb so much of them she becomes them. She can almost imagine it, Jiaqi dissolving into the water, her features flowing over Xueer’s face, reshaping Xueer’s body like wet clay. She doesn’t like that it’s so easy to envision. She wants the mystery, because she’s a little scared of how she’ll feel once it’s gone, once she’s taken Jiaqi’s energy into her and doesn’t have an excuse to watch her and wonder.

“Is it going to hurt?”

“I don’t think so,” Xueer says. “Are you scared?”

“Of course I'm scared," Jiaqi says, matter-of-fact. Her upturned face serene. “Everyone's scared of pain. Anyone who says differently is lying. But we're all here, aren't we? There are things more important than that.” She shifts back upright, pulling her legs inwards, stabilising herself with a few armstrokes. Water skimming off her slick dark hair and catching the light. “Ready?”

Unwilling to trust herself to speak, Xueer nods. Jiaqi smiles, reassuring. She grasps Xueer’s shoulders and leans in. 

Her mouth is cool, chlorinated. Tongue at the seam of Xueer’s lips, coaxing them open. Her hands slide down to grip Xueer’s elbows. 

Jiaqi breaks the kiss. “Is it just me or is it getting really hard to focus on kissing and not drowning at the same time,” she says.

If Jiaqi is the right one the curse should probably have already broken by this point, but Xueer’s blood is sparkling and she doesn’t want to stop. “We can move to the shallow end," she suggests.

“Okay,” Jiaqi laughs, and steers them both towards the shallows. When Xueer’s feet touch the tiled floor she winds her arms around Jiaqi’s neck more securely and slots their mouths together again.

They press close together, mouths slipping against each other. Jiaqi's energy flows into her like air. Its force inside Xueer lifting upwards, trying to press her closer to its source. Pulse in Xueer’s ears, giddy. Jiaqi holds her with all her dancer’s strength, muscles taut under wet skin, as though Xueer is the one who might be uncautiously consumed, who might slip out of her hold like a carp, twisting over the waterfall into a dragon. The cool air whispering over her bare shoulders, the water so warm now. Jiaqi kisses her breathless.

Jiaqi draws back, but she doesn’t let go of Xueer’s arms. The steady sound of the water washing up against the sides of the pool envelops them like a heartbeat. Everywhere the light gleams blue. “Do you think it worked?” 

Xueer says, hope like a pearl at her throat, “We’ll just have to wait and see.”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to let me know what you thought! you can find me on twitter [@juncheolsoo](https://twitter.com/juncheolsoo) and cc [@inheritance](https://curiouscat.me/inheritance) <3


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